No Time
by Electric Sofa
Summary: Buffy Kills a Vampire. It's funny..I think.


no time

Title: No Time

Author: Electric Sofa

Rating: PG

Summary:A Buffy moment.No more than that.

Feedback:Appreciated.[electricsofa@hotmail.com][1]

Distribution:If you want it take it. An e-mail telling me where it is going would be appreciated.

Pairing:VERY slightly B/S and X/A, but not enough to disturb any one who is not of those 'ships.I just put that part in cause I like it.J

Disclaimer:I do not own any of the characters in this story. 

Authors note 1:Set any time when Buffy is with Spike, and he lives with her and Dawn.

Authors note 2:The quote at the end is from one of Douglas Adams' books, so I can't really take credit for it, but it just had so many possibilities that I had to do something with it. And here this is.Hope you like! 

Buffy tingled and stopped walking."Well, well.Would you look at this," A male voice called out from an alleyway behind her.

_How typical_, Buffy thought_, a vampire that thinks he's got what it takes to kill the slayer has decided that 2 AM is, of course, the best time to confront me_. She had just been walking home after a particularly long night of demon slayage, and was ready to call it a night.She had escorted Xander and Anya to their apartment and her plan to go straight home where Dawn was asleep and Spike (hopefully) was waiting up for her.But no, the latest evil vampire that thought he was worth being called a big bad was seriously interrupting her well thought out plan.

The voice continued, "what are you doing out at this late hour, honey?A girl walking home alone at this hour should be careful, something bad could happen to her.Maybe you'd like some company".

Buffy was a little surprised, most of the self proclaimed baddies, especially the ones in this town, recognized the slayer on sight, or by smell, or whatever icky sense demons used that said 'this is a slayer'. It was a bit of a change to get one that hadn't a clue as to what he was in for.Buffy smiled._This will be easier than I thought; maybe I can have a little fun with it too_.

She put a frightened look on her face and turned around and took a few steps toward the vampire. 

"Oh, please sir," she managed to get in a sniffle or two, "I just had a really bad night an-and I don't know what to do…I don't want to be alone" at this point Buffy was doing some light sobbing, trying hard to think victim like thoughts.She actually thought that she was pouring it on a bit thick but the vampire didn't seem to notice, too eager for an easy meal.

The vampire closed the distance between them until he was only a few feet away.There was a smile on his face and Buffy got the impression that he wasn't the good of an actor either.She wondered how he had been able to survive long enough to actually learn too suppress his demon face.

"Why don't I walk you to my place and you can tell me all about it over a cup of coffee, kay?

Inwardly, Buffy snickered._Obviously thinks he's going to get more than just dinner.Guess the acting wasn't that bad,Buff.Well, let's make sure he's right._

"What's your name, honey?"Her thoughts were interrupted and she decided that this was the perfect time for an abrupt character change.

The response to his question was not what he was expecting; or, more precisely, it was a swift jab to his nose.The vampire made no attempt to retaliate, apparently he was used to his quarry being the timid quiet type.Buffy smiled wide and bright at the stunned vampire.

"Ow!"That hadn't hurt him too bad, she hadn't hit him with her full strength.The response was more of a reflex.

"I usually…"Buffy kicked his stomach.This one wasn't held back, she wanted this to be over before he had a chance to get over the surprise and pain and actually fight back.

"What the…ohh!" He went from clutching at his face to hunching over in a vain attempt to protect himself from the powerful assault. 

"...try to introduce myself..." Buffy lifted him up and hit his jaw and his nose again for good measure, causing his nose to begin bleeding.

"...before physical intimacy takes place,..." A swift kick to his more private vampire parts and the vampire was kneeling at her feet.

"...but sometimes," Buffy let out a sigh and plunged the stake into the startled vampire's chest, "there just isn't time".

She looked on as the vampire stared at her and exploded into its component atoms.Buffy smugly rubbed the vampire dust off her hands and continued walking home with a rather contented smile on her face.

The End

Please remember to send in your thoughts!

   [1]: mailto:electricsofa@hotmail.com



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